I haven’t heard any politician claim to have fucked my mom.

There kinda is. US Marshals.

He had a superhuman ability to bankrupt casinos he owned.

My plate hasn’t been searched (it’s not in this list at least), but without outing exactly where I live I’ll just say my county is among the worst in the country for searches. I.e. We’ve done lots of searches.

100%

I think that’s his whole platform.

Even Trump doesn’t know.

It’s a week till the next Tuesday.

How? Pretty sure it’d normally be illegal for them to keep government equipment, but if not, make it so. Then arrest them if the keep it. This isn’t hard.

Same with the east wing of the White House.

I can’t leave my neighborhood without passing one.

Coulda killed himself. I think that would work.

I said war room, not sex dungeon.

He can turn any room into a war room with just a few blankets.

Anyone who goes to this much trouble to hide their finances is doing something shady. You brought the fucking suit my guy. You can’t claim financial loss and just say “trust me bro.” Someone actually has to look at things to see if the claims are legit.

Just withdraw your lawsuit.

You don’t trust pinky promises?

We need a new word for their consistently bad faith, disingenuous lies.

Republican

They didn’t have the best example. But you can’t really expect to guard against guns with knives and tasers. Sometimes you have to use what is available while fighting for change.