He doesn’t even have to spend that much. Elmo could cut a $10,000 check to Susan Collins and she would introduce the Orphans as Biofuel Act.

He’s still pissed that they built windmills next to his stupid golf course in Scotland and has some insane vendetta against them.

This is where it gets fun. Does she write a tell-all book about how Don Junior’s winkie doesn’t work because of the blow? Or does she sell supplements to MAGA rubes? Does she try to date the crustiest old, rich guy she can find?

Stay tuned for the slow-motion school bus accident that is the US government.

Susan Collins is very concerned. She might write a letter.

Anything to distract from his massive failure in the Middle East, I guess.

How is this race still a dead heat?

Oh, right. Because the only people covering this story are sites like ProPublica and the Intercept.

Brad exists. He drives a Cadillac and uses his food stamps to buy steak and lobster. All while popping out kids he can’t support and listens to the rap music.