MinnesotaGoddam

eh, i’m disabled. insurance for a family now is still less than i had to pay for individual insurance then. last time i did the math it had to be a family of seven to make it equivalent but costs change constantly.

politicians are way cheaper than you think

also no one ever counts the coast guard

One for each of the seven branches of the military

Did they rename space farce?

You gotta choose (or make) a religion where all you do is go to the beach and eat sandwiches. That sounds like a nice religion.

in some sects, yeah that’s how it works, with the general idea being that their god is not an idiot and not fooled by insincere deathbed conversions.

He is shitty pubehair-bowl bongwater anthropomorphized.

There’s not enough military personnel to lock down election sites,

He doesn’t have to lock down them all, unfortunately. Dude was not lying when he said he could personally murder someone and it would improve his likability with his base. Utah and Idaho will vote for a dead mule before they vote for a democrat, liberal, or leftist.

He ran out chips before he finished his daily gallon of melted cheese product.

I don’t know why too much cheese would be an emergency, but some people, you know?

The doctors were so amazed that the biggest and manliest cried while asking him for medical advice

The military turns you into a weirdo. It’s the point of basic training. Funny that Couchfuck McDuck didn’t catch that

The fact that I exist pisses a lot of people off so honestly if they can’t make that small an accommodation, it’s on them

Maybe a jet engine would darko Donnie and spare us the trouble

I’ve got a nice etrike. I haven’t tried to get it on the train yet, but if I can I will be able to access most of Northern California, instead of the 30 mile radius around me

Honestly I only use the car like once a week, and it’s for a rehearsal I could probably take the train to

And then there was that time he “mysteriously” disappeared for a weekend or two weeks or something

o’fuck

oh you’re behind on the treadmill. it’s superduperintelligence now

eh, that’s really more of a boulevard