A Ulefone Armor 34 pro. It’s a ridiculous 2lb brick with nightvision, a fucking projector, and 25,500mAh of battery.

But there are a LOT of phones that check off a few less of those those boxes. Reasonable phones with only twice as much battery as any Samsung. GSMArena has a filterable search function, just filter for phones that work with the bands your country/carrier uses. No phone is compatible with all countries networks!

If you get your phone from a carrier, you’re going to get the kind of phone they want. Android or Apple.

My phone was new last year and runs modern android. It has a headphone jack, SD card slot, and even FM radio. It also has enough battery to last 10 days of moderately heavy use. Niche phones exist if you look outside what’s sold by carriers.